Mixed Emotions

Seven years of camps and this was the first I didn’t find myself in a flood of tears as we hugged goodbye to the campers. As we drove away, I questioned myself with mixed emotions. Asking why I wasn’t crying. Insecurities began to race through my mind.

Do I care less now than in the past? Was my connection with the children not as strong as before? Maybe I didn’t do my job as a director well enough. Was this all worth it? Is this really my calling?

The enemy likes to use negative thoughts like these to try and prevent us from seeing all the blessings The Lord is pouring out on us. One thought leads to the next and eventually I found myself thinking about things not related to camp, completely off topic. For 10 minutes I let the enemy win in my heart and mind.

Once we were on the bus and driving away, Daniel began a prayer of thanksgiving with the group and immediately my heart was softened. Then the flood began. As tears rolled down, It hit me that there is power in the name of Jesus and the enemy must flee. The insecurities holding me back were immediately lifted as God wrapped his arms around me.

For me today, it was the satisfaction that I had completed the work God gave me, that it was successful camp, children were saved, I have energy to spare, I slept about 7 hours each night, I have lasting friendships, I served and saw the smiles on the campers faces each day. I left knowing they felt loved for at least 10 days this year.
I couldn’t have seen those things when my mind was fogged with the enemy.

Today was a beautiful reminder that when I start to be hard on myself, all I have to do is say the name of Jesus, and see the change He can make.

I want to encourage you to Lift yourself and lift others up today. Don’t be hard on yourself. Accept a compliment humbly and with gratitude. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, putting yourself down or being negative, ask God to help you shift your focus to the blessings in your life. His name helps us shift that focus.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God loves each of you so much that He sent His Son to save you and give you life eternal. There is no greater gift than his love and the enemy will never be able to take that away from us.